Yes, it’s finally upon me.
Age 30.
I’m trying to handle this with grace, but to be honest, it’s a mental hurdle like I hadn’t anticipated.
Turning thirty has wreaked the same havoc in my mind as the Mini Van Block (that childish resistance to buying an ever-so-practical minivan because it might make me look older than I want to appear).
So I’m struggling a bit.
My friend Erin was kind enough to send me this collage, citing women over 30 who are still hot. Thank you, dear friend! I needed it.
But pondering the likes of Kate Winslet, Eva Mendes and Reese Witherspoon got me thinking along other lines. Namely: Are there women under 30 who look worse that I do?
Thankfully, yes.
Seeing as I’m much cattier than Erin — and it is my birthday — I thought I’d indulge in the time-honored pastime of insulting other people to make myself feel better. I lettered in this sport, so rest easy, you’re with a professional.
[Keep in mind, I didn’t take the easy route and survey your average bingo parlor. I didn’t even troll the waters of the local university-level Women’s Studies department. These are “famous” women who’ve somehow or other made a name for themselves.]First up in the Women Younger And Uglier Than Me category:
Chelsea Clinton
This is a product of simple math.
habitually-dishonest and debauched politician + embittered feminist attorney/activist = homely daughter with Stanford education
It’s all a matter of taste, but I don’t find her attractive. Perhaps it’s her adherence to roles featuring some type of decapitation, ghosting or mayhem. Whatever. Not cute.
Leaving Britney’s Mother Of The Year campaign aside, a couple of years ago, my claim of superior attractiveness would have been laughed off the net.
And lastly, we have this little lady.
Younger than me and uglier than me. Yes, yes, I know. Hairier than me, too, but it still counts.
Lisa says
Hey, it’s Lisa from FBC…now I’m stalking your blog!!! BWAHAHA!
I’ve got to say, I think that Paris Hilton herself falls in the “Uglier Than You” catagory!
Happy late birthday! 30 was a wee bit hard for me too, mainly because I found myself thinking, “Ummm, am I supposed to actually be a grownup now?” 🙂