WARNING: This entry is rated for Mature Audiences ONLY.
Admittedly, I am a headline scanner who rarely takes the time to read most of the stories in the paper. However, this one caught my attention.
Poor Madin Azad Amin, 29, of Skokie, Illinois, is being charged by authorities in Chicago for felony disorderly conduct. And why?
Prior to boarding a flight to Turkey, Amin and his mother had their bags searched by airport screeners (probably as the result of ethnic profiling with a reckless disregard for the human rights of innocent people with something to hide).
Unfortunately for Amin, a suspicious article in his luggage — described as resembling a grenade — caught the attention of screeners and he was asked to identify the object.
Not wanting to explain in front of his mother that the article was, in fact, a penis pump (“It’s not mine, baby!”) Amin told the female screener that it was a BOMB.
Follow the disconnect here. On what planet is it preferable that your mother think you are a bomb-toting terrorist about to blow up the plane she will be flying in rather than a horny young guy with an impotence problem?
Naturally, Amin’s attorney claims he said “pump” and the screener misunderstood him. Chicago authorities aren’t buying it.
The female airport screener has probably already filed her sexual harassment suit against Mr. Amin for exposing her to his peckerdilloes — excuse me, peccadilloes.
The true tragedy, however, is that no one has defended Mr. Amin and excused his actions on the basis of his membership in a universally persecuted class of Americans.
No, not Muslims. Impotent men.
These unfortunate individuals are driven into the shadows, hiding their affliction from the people closest to them, forced to lie about their ownership of sexual enhancement aids in the hopes that one day, the subversive sentiments of rabid anti-flaccidity will be a thing of the past.
But perhaps one day, through education and legislation, we will achieve what we all hope and pray for: equality for all men, regardless of their ability to achieve lift-off without assistance.
So I think it’s time that all impotent men sieze Madin Azad Amin as their symbol: the Che Guvara of the impotence movement. Viva la erection!