Category Archives: Recipes

On the Table

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I feel somewhat guilty for reducing a holiday of the significance of Thanksgiving down to the food we plan to consume. Maybe if it were Secretaries Day, I wouldn’t feel the shame.

Still, I trust everyone to know I understand that the personal and historical importance of Thanksgiving Day dwarfs the paltry meaning of something as petty as what we eat tomorrow. Right?

Perfect. On to the food.

The beauty of having Thanksgiving two hours away from your kitchen is that the expectations for your contribution to said meal go way down.

Wait. Check that.

I don’t really know that the expectations of what I will provide go down. But my delivery of actual food meets a pretty low bar each year. Whether that’s because the expectations are really lower or only because I’ve been married long enough for my in-laws to be acquainted with the unburnished realities of Me: you be the judge.

In any event, you deserve the reckoning of my contribution to our gathering.

Pecan pie. Simmie’s Pecan Pie, to be precise. This recipe is, by my calculation, completely perfect as long as you round up that 1 1/2 cups of pecans to an even 2 cups of pecans. (Okay, with a few extra throw in. How could that hurt?)

Cranberry Orange Relish. I know there are people out there who would rather have so-called “Cranberry Sauce” that comes schlumping out of the can just like a batch of gelatinous Alpo contaminated by a vat of Red Dye #5.

But I choose not to dwell on the idiosyncrasies of the insane. Life is too short.

Listen to me carefully. Put 1 package of fresh cranberries and a seeded orange (with the peel still on) into your food processor. Pulse until minced. Stir in 3/4 cup of sugar. Then spread this on your turkey and say good-bye to the can forever.

It’ll be good for you.

Finally, because we’ll be staying at my parents house overnight, I’m bringing a couple of pans of Caramel Pecan Rolls — an incarnation of Pioneer Woman’s Caramel Apple Sticky Buns, except without apple and with loads of pecans.

These will not be good for you. Or me. At all. Except maybe for our souls.

And who couldn’t use a little caramel-and-pecan-doctoring on their soul once in a while?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ten Can Taco Soup

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Ten Can Taco SoupIn order for me to be considered a “foodie,” the world would probably have to experience some kind of major food-oriented cataclysm. Maybe something on par with that stupid Stallone film in which Taco Bell is the only restaurant to “survive the franchise wars.” Whatever that means.

Anyway, until gastronomic ecstasy descends to a cuisine with “gordita” in the name, I’m perfectly comfortable with being myself in the kitchen.

This recipe is very much “me.” For one, it’s probably one of the rare recipes I would feel comfortable actually taking credit for, because it’s the result of 100% improvisation and not a riff on someone else’s version. (I’m not saying no one on earth has ever created Taco Soup before, but any similarities between actual recipes, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.) Secondly, it’s extremely easy to make, the main technical prerequisite being the ability to turn your can opener — which has “me” written all over it.

It’s also a very forgiving recipe — which is where our similarities end. Ah well. You can’t have everything.

I wish I could say I have nice, step-by-step photos to share, but that would be a lie. I’m not Pioneer Woman and also I’m a lousy photographer and also I’m lazy and also this recipe is so stinkin’ easy that people who need a photo tutorial to make it probably shouldn’t be using knives or major appliances unsupervised anyway. So if you can’t figure it out, just leave a comment. Or email me. I’ll coach you through the hard parts.


Ten Can Taco Soup

1.25 lbs. Ground Turkey
1 small Yellow Onion, diced
1 envelope Ranch Dressing Mix
1 envelope Taco Seasoning
1 can Rotel Tomatoes & Green Chilies
3 cans Stewed Tomatoes with Green Pepper & Onion
2 cans White Hominy, drained
2 cans Ranch Beans
1 can Dark Red Kidney Beans
1 can Black Beans, drained 1

In a Dutch oven, brown the ground turkey over medium heat. Add diced onion while the turkey is still slightly pink and toss until the turkey is no longer pink. Drain off the excess fat. Sprinkle the ranch dressing mix over the turkey/onion mixture and toss over low heat to coat. Repeat with the taco seasoning. Stir in all ten cans of remaining goodness and cover. Simmer for 20 minutes 2 or so, stirring occasionally. Sprinkle with a little sharp cheddar and serve with whatever side makes your leg tingle: tortilla chips, saltines, corn chips, or (my personal favorite) cornbread. Makes about 12 servings.

By the way, this soup freezes beautifully. Just seal the cooled soup in a ziploc bag and toss in the freezer. Though I would recommend not tossing it onto a wire shelf within your freezer or you may find the task of defrosting a bit more entertaining. Just a suggestion.

  1. If you’re uber-observant, you probably noticed the taco soup in the above photo does not contain black beans. My hubby has an “issue” with black beans. I like black beans — especially since they make the soup extra pretty — but I love my husband. I had to choose between the two and there’s no crying about it now.
    ↩
  2. This is just a suggestion. The soup is already fully cooked, so if you’re in a rush and don’t have time for a full 20 minute simmer, serve away. But I think the simmering helps. ↩

Chocolate Chip Brownie Pillows

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DISCLAIMER: I am not a “chef.” While culinary precision and sophistication are qualities I admire in others, these are not among my gifts. I’m lazy.

But I’m a huge fan of comfort food. And by “huge,” I mean… never mind.

Where my culinary skills tend to shine is in the arena of dessert. To me, dessert is a culinary act of redemption — a chance to send your guests into a state of euphoria that will sponge from their minds the memory of dry chicken and bland veggies.

This recipe is an adaption of “Chocolate Chip Brownie Pillows” from Southern Living Annual Recipes 2009 — tweaked because I like much more brownie than their recipe calls for. And it’s all about me and my needs, of course.

CHOCOLATE CHIP BROWNIE PILLOWS
1 package Ghirardelli Double Chocolate Brownie Mix (for an 8″ x 8″ pan)
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
1 T. vanilla
2 1/2 cups flour
2 t. baking powder
1/2 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
1 package semisweet chocolate chips

Bake brownies according to package directions. Cool completely. No cheating on this one.

Cream together butter, shortening and brown sugar. Add eggs and egg yolk one at a time, beating after eat addition. Stir in vanilla. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Gradually add into creamed mixture and stir until blended. Stir in chocolate morsels. Cover and chill dough 2 hours.

Cut the brownies into narrow slices, 3/4″ wide or so. Lightly grease 12-14 small ramekins1.

Put one large spoonful of chilled cookie dough in each ramekin and spread out until you have a thin layer covering the bottom of the dish. Top the cookie dough with a layer of sliced brownie — I turn the narrow slices on their side for the best coverage — covering as much of the cookie dough as possible. Feel free to break slices apart or fill gaps with crumbs; no one will ever know. Unless they read this blog.

Take another large spoonful of cookie dough into your hands and flatten it into a rough circle. Place the circle of dough over the top of the brownie and spread out to cover the brownie. Make sure the brownie is completely “sealed” by the cookie dough so it doesn’t dry out or burn while baking. Cover the ramekins with plastic wrap and chill for at least 20 minutes.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20 to 22 minutes or until the top is lightly golden brown.

NOTE: The center of the top layer may still be slightly “doughy” underneath. If you’re a fan of raw cookie dough, you’ll be in heaven. If that freaks you out, just add a few minutes to the baking time and cover the ramekins with aluminum foil for the first few minutes of baking to prevent over-browning.

Serve hot, topped with a scoop of ice cream. Makes 12-14 servings.

1 My ramekins are about 3″ in diameter. If you don’t own any ramekins or other small oven-safe dishes, you can use muffin tins. Just note that the quantity and proportions will probably be different than described above. You should also understand that the use of individual serving dishes such as ramekins is an effective deterrent against Chocolate Chip Brownie Pillow Hoarding (CCBPH), a clinical disorder characterized by the sufferer stealing an entire muffin tin of CCBP, locking him or herself in a closet or vehicle and consuming all 12 servings in one sitting. An outbreak of CCBPH is usually followed by an acute case of Sudden Onset Chocolate Overload. Symptoms include labored-breathing, abdominal distention, rolling eyes and moaning, quickly followed by excessive milk consumption and a four-hour nap.

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