Category Archives: Homekeeping

Motherhood (Abridged)

As she pushed from her forehead a curtain of frizzy bangs — coaxed into prominence by tendrils of steam emanating from the pot of homemade tomato sauce and meatballs over which she had labored all afternoon — she heard a small voice: sweet but insistent.

“But, Mama, I want hot dogs for dinner!”

In that moment, her consciousness leapt from the fragrant and disheveled kitchen to the dinner table — not of this hour, but of many years hence. A table no longer littered with toys and crayon drawings, but host instead to a young man of whom this small boy was only the promise. Gone were the dimples, the piping voice, the disheveled curls, replaced by a man of stature, his voice resonant, but with the lingering ebullience of the boy she knew so well. Perhaps he was home from college, tarrying in the launch of his inevitably brilliant destiny for a long-anticipated reunion with his parents.

As they congregated at the table, he beamed at his mother, announcing: “I’ve been looking forward to a homemade meal for a change.” And his mother could not help but notice how he dwarfed the chair which once seemed too big for him. Where had her tiny boy gone? And so quickly?

So it was, with both a tremble and a thrill, that she set before him the evening’s repast. The plate was larger than of yore — for his appetite had grown, too — and heaped with the fruits of her admittedly truncated labors. “Dig in, sweetheart,” she said. And if his face seemed a trifle disappointed, it did not disturb the serene smile of a woman who, having enjoyed rising late, lingered over her lunch, and spent the afternoon savoring a good book, closing it just in time to prepare dinner.

“I thought about making spaghetti, but I remembered how much you always liked these,” she said. If he wanted to protest, he wisely smothered the impulse and reached for another hot dog.

With that, her mind returned to the pungent kitchen. And she smiled and was content.

The End.

Things to Do in Dallas When You’re Dead

Dead tired, that is.

Because I’m sure I will be after I make my way through (part of) this building.

This is the World Trade Center (WTC) building at Dallas Market Center. Fifteen floors of, well, everything. All wholesale goods, from all over the world, for all kinds of stores.

I get vertigo just looking at this picture. And there are three more buildings besides this one.

More about me: I grew up in a smallish town. Within a driveable radius, there was one “cool” mall, one decidedly uncool mall and a few standalone stores. There was no Target, no GAP, and no one had heard of the internet. It was entirely possible to view and consider every single option for, let’s say, a pair of ladies’ shoes available in the vicinity. In other words, you could exhaust every possibility before making a decision.

Dallas Market is the antithesis of that concept. It’s just not possible to see it all.

I only wish I’d known that the first time I went. That was two years ago. I’m older, wiser and significantly pregnant-er now. I’m aiming to take manageable bites out of Market this time. It’s no small feat for a pregnant woman to walk waddle through 5,000,000 square feet. So I won’t.

I’m planning my attack by floor. I’ll be visiting some of my current vendors to see what special deals they might be offering and scouting out new vendors or ones I remember from my last market trip.

I’ve penciled in WTC for Floors 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9 and 13. There are two floors of the Trade Market building that also made the list. I’m guessing that puts me somewhere in the neighborhood of 2.5 million square feet. I may spare a waddle for some of the other showrooms, but that’s a little doubtful. Because after I make my way through wholesale Xanadu, I have a couple of retail stops to visit.

First of all, Cost Plus World Market. Or is it Market World Plus Cost? Or World Plus Market Cost?

I can never get it right. Maybe because we don’t have one here.

Anyway, ever since Joni Webb highlighted Market Plus Cost World in her several posts on Kooboo wicker chairs, I’ve been in all a-dither to visit and see them for myself, even if I don’t buy a thing. Any store that snakes Pottery Barn by offering something just as nice for less is a must-see destination on my Reality Bus Tour.

And finally, I’m making time to stop into this cute little Swedish boutique — maybe you’ve heard of it — called IKEA.

All in all, if I make it home without needing permanent bedrest — or a second mortgage on my home — it will be rather an accomplishment, don’t you think?

Considering the ambitious nature of our shopping expeditions, I haven’t planned any sightseeing. My only other must-do in Dallas is to eat at Babe’s Chicken Dinner House. For the whole weekend, really.

I crave it. It’s a sickness. Like Homer Simpson and donuts.

But I can’t eat there for six meals in a row. That would be inconsiderate to the needs of my traveling companion. And my arteries.

So where else do we eat? Thoughts? Recommendations? Warnings of imminent diabetic shock? Please share.

Curbside Carryout

Let’s say your phone rings on a random Tuesday afternoon.

The voice on the other end asks: “Will you drop what you’re doing and meet me on the side of the road right now to help me lift something heavy, dirty and awkward into my car?”

What would you say?

I’m too busy.

I don’t do manual labor.

I don’t really like you that much.

Who is this?

All of the above?

Or, as my friend said: “Can I bring my mother?”

Um, yes please.

Those who know me well know that I’m not too great at asking for help. I’m getting better about accepting help when it’s offered, but I’m still more likely to slog through on my own — even if it kills me — than admit I’m not Supergirl.

(Or Wonder Woman. I always liked her better than that cocky blonde Kryptonian anyway.)

Which is demonstrated by the fact that I did try, at first, to lift and load this behemoth on my own:

Honestly, I didn’t even expect to need help. I assumed this thing would already have been scooped up by the roving hoards of furniture gypsies who seem to get every other CraigsList “curb alert” I’ve ever seen.

But when I drove up, lo and behold. A nine-foot-long, solid-wood primitive church pew. For free.

It only took me about seven minutes to breakdown the interior config of our Odyssey so that I could fit nine feet of pew and still have both children securely belted and in rear seats according to law.

But how to load nine feet of pew into said minivan?

I did ask my five-year-old to help me. It was worth a try.

[Insert Desperate Phone Call Here]

My friend Neil has already made an indentured servant of herself as I plied her with zinc place cards, soap dispensers, monogram stamps and artwork in hopes she’d help me out with all of my market events. (She did.)

It’s not like the woman hasn’t done enough.

But the impossibility that I could carry both ends of this beast while loading it into the minivan prompted me to make said desperate phone call even though I knew, in the end, she’d probably be busy and I’d be able to do nothing but drive away, benchless and in defeat.

Cue the trumpets: she came.

She never hesitated. Admittedly, I primed her with the words “old wooden church pew” — there’s a certain magic in those words for people like us — so that may have helped. Regardless, I feel decidedly blessed to have a friend who is willing to bail me out when I get in over my head. (Again.)

As for the church pew, it’s now sitting in my dining room awaiting a spell of warm weather so I can drag it outside and perform a little Spanish Inquisition with the PaintEater. Judging by the copious amount of pet hair — a little bonus, if you will — it’s most recent life was outside as lounging furniture for a pack of feral dogs. The elements did their work: it’s distressed, cracked and weathered. Or, as my husband might say, firewood with a superiority complex.

Oh, but the glimpses of wood under that peeling dark paint are tantalizing. It’s a thing of beauty. At least, it will be. Picture it: weathered raw wood with that gorgeous horizontal planking, banked with plump grain sack and ticking pillows and flanking my dining room table. Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found thee.

Neil, I can’t thank you enough, dear friend.

Ah! sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found thee!

Cord Labels

Only is some bizarre universe inhabited by Hoarders alone could I be considered a neatnik.

Still, I have certain areas about which I am incapable of tolerating disorder. Among these rarefied OCD nuggets of my personality is the world of computer cords.

No mishmash of power cords, printer cables, USB extensions or network cables intertwined into a technological magpie nest for me. Cords should be organized, freed of the encumbrance of each other, neatly looped and bound by zipties. If you’ve ever had to plunge into a Gordian knot of cables — unplugging and untwisting as you go — trying to extract one stupid cord for the thing you need to unplug, you have my sympathies.

Now that I have a laptop and a little cord society has come to live on my desk, I’m even more inflexible. I have no less than twelve devices that connect to my computer via a USB cable and I have to be honest: I no longer have the gray matter to remember what plug goes with what gadget.

[Getting older sucks.]

But one good OCD turn deserves another.

Is there something odd about using your label machine to label the box you keep the label machine in? If there is, don’t tell me.

Sigh. I feel much better now.

Martha Moved On

Did anyone else notice when Martha Stewart moved from Lowes to Home Depot? Probably right around the time we won our Lowe’s gift card and I had money to spend on her. Such is life.

I haven’t really had a chance to examine her Home Depot products yet, but when Deliciously Determined offered an examination of faux bois, I clicked over to see the paintable faux bois wallpaper. I’m not crazy about the textural quality of the paper, but upon further investigation, I found something I do like:

For an 8 x 10 rug, $317 sounds pretty reasonable. At least that’s what my dining room keeps saying.

Home Depot is also offering Martha’s Decorative Painting Tool Kit, which includes the faux bois rocker tool.

I’m not a huge fan of faux finishes — I can’t forget those horrible infomercials from ten years ago — but when handled with suitable restraint, faux bois can be breathtaking.

And I mean that in the complimentary, non-Seinfeld kind of way.

Anthropologie Cometh

My dear town of Tulsa has seen its share of historic events: the Oil Boom, the 1921 Race Riot, the birth of Route 66, the filming of The Outsiders, among others. I’m not entirely sure Friday, September 24, 2010, will be deemed worthy of a place in the history books — but I’m sure excited about it.

I’d never heard of Anthropologie until my sister-in-law brought it up. And until I started reading design blogs with regularity, I certainly didn’t share in the general enthusiasm. Thank you, blog heroines for saving me from my ignorance.

And in the nick of time, too. Friday is just 300,000 seconds away.

Granted, a lot of Anthro’s merchandise is decidedly bohemian — in other words, totally not me — but their simplest items are right up my alley. I’ve been drinking in the home section of their website in preparation for my first pilgrimage. I have no idea what they’ll stock — or what they have in stock by the time I make it in — but I’m finding plenty of eye candy in the meantime.

Farmer's Egg Crate

I want one. I don’t need one. I want one.

Cirrus Bedding

Is it ruching? Shirring? No. It’s love.

Italian Campaign Canopy Bed

This bed calls my name. In Italian.

Mirrored Dresser

I live in a world where $1,300 for a dresser is an unconscionable extravagance. Damn it.

Illusorio Cabinet

Love that reclaimed pine. Just “pining” away.

Deep Sea Curtain

I wasn’t a big fan of cephalopods. Until now.

Simplicity Lamp

This lamp has such elegance. Gorgeous.

Fluted Pendant Lamp

Did I mention my clinical obsession for industrial-inspired lighting?

Mechanic's Beacon Light

Did I mention my clinical obsession for industrial-inspired lighting?

I did? Oh.

Anthro also has some beautiful wallpapers. Tons of them. But my favorite has to be this one:

Grand Game Wallpaper

Kitschy fun. I’m not sure why I like it, but I do.

I also like mirrors with a sense of humor. Like this one:

Reassembled Mirror

It would certainly compliment my houseful of existing broken stuff.

Zinc Letters

Zinc letters? Yes, please.

Lotus Dinnerware

The color of the Lotus Dinnerware is stunning.

Latte Bowls

I’ve always wanted a set of Latte Bowls. (And a barista to go with them, but I’m flexible.)

And then, if there were no mortgage, no utilities, and no need to eat ever again, I would just buy hardware. But I can’t post pictures. I don’t have the bandwidth.

Are you an Anthropologie junky? What are your faves?

Tulsa, let the countdown begin.

Ten Can Taco Soup

Ten Can Taco SoupIn order for me to be considered a “foodie,” the world would probably have to experience some kind of major food-oriented cataclysm. Maybe something on par with that stupid Stallone film in which Taco Bell is the only restaurant to “survive the franchise wars.” Whatever that means.

Anyway, until gastronomic ecstasy descends to a cuisine with “gordita” in the name, I’m perfectly comfortable with being myself in the kitchen.

This recipe is very much “me.” For one, it’s probably one of the rare recipes I would feel comfortable actually taking credit for, because it’s the result of 100% improvisation and not a riff on someone else’s version. (I’m not saying no one on earth has ever created Taco Soup before, but any similarities between actual recipes, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.) Secondly, it’s extremely easy to make, the main technical prerequisite being the ability to turn your can opener — which has “me” written all over it.

It’s also a very forgiving recipe — which is where our similarities end. Ah well. You can’t have everything.

I wish I could say I have nice, step-by-step photos to share, but that would be a lie. I’m not Pioneer Woman and also I’m a lousy photographer and also I’m lazy and also this recipe is so stinkin’ easy that people who need a photo tutorial to make it probably shouldn’t be using knives or major appliances unsupervised anyway. So if you can’t figure it out, just leave a comment. Or email me. I’ll coach you through the hard parts.


Ten Can Taco Soup

1.25 lbs. Ground Turkey
1 small Yellow Onion, diced
1 envelope Ranch Dressing Mix
1 envelope Taco Seasoning
1 can Rotel Tomatoes & Green Chilies
3 cans Stewed Tomatoes with Green Pepper & Onion
2 cans White Hominy, drained
2 cans Ranch Beans
1 can Dark Red Kidney Beans
1 can Black Beans, drained 1

In a Dutch oven, brown the ground turkey over medium heat. Add diced onion while the turkey is still slightly pink and toss until the turkey is no longer pink. Drain off the excess fat. Sprinkle the ranch dressing mix over the turkey/onion mixture and toss over low heat to coat. Repeat with the taco seasoning. Stir in all ten cans of remaining goodness and cover. Simmer for 20 minutes 2 or so, stirring occasionally. Sprinkle with a little sharp cheddar and serve with whatever side makes your leg tingle: tortilla chips, saltines, corn chips, or (my personal favorite) cornbread. Makes about 12 servings.

By the way, this soup freezes beautifully. Just seal the cooled soup in a ziploc bag and toss in the freezer. Though I would recommend not tossing it onto a wire shelf within your freezer or you may find the task of defrosting a bit more entertaining. Just a suggestion.


  1. If you’re uber-observant, you probably noticed the taco soup in the above photo does not contain black beans. My hubby has an “issue” with black beans. I like black beans — especially since they make the soup extra pretty — but I love my husband. I had to choose between the two and there’s no crying about it now.
  2. This is just a suggestion. The soup is already fully cooked, so if you’re in a rush and don’t have time for a full 20 minute simmer, serve away. But I think the simmering helps.

Believe it or Not

I really don’t spend my life in thrift stores. Honest. It just seems that way.

I usually only make it to a thrift store once a week, and then it’s usually because the long, hot, miserable, humid, turgid, ferocious, scorching, summer weather has inflicted cabin fever on my boys, a dose so severe they beg me to take them somewhere. Anywhere.

I’m just trying to please my kids really. Taking one for the team is my nature.

(On that note, it has been a nice change of pace to see my boys entering a thrift store willingly and without tranquilizers. They’ve been — knock on wood — astonishingly well-behaved. As long as I give them something to hold and play with while they’re in the store, they’re usually quite pleasant.)

Anyway, back in July, Holly posted a query regarding her kitchen area: to eat in or not? As usual, she included some great photos for inspiration, including this one:

Normally, I’d call this too French Country for my taste, but I really liked the chairs. I’m into nailhead trim these days.

Cue the “B” Story: for the previous few weeks, I’d been watching a dining table and chairs set at Salvation Army. The original price of $189.99 had come and gone and still the set remained. When it hit 50% off, I was tempted. But the time just wasn’t right.

But somehow seeing the above photo got my wheels turning, and on my next trip to SA I managed to put two and two together. For a miracle, the dining set was still there — and was now 70% off.

Dining TableSo here it is. And only to you, blog friends, can I safely confide that she’s destined for a coat of paint. White paint, perhaps gray.

The puzzlement is the chairs. The seats obviously need doing.

Slub Ugly Fabric

The seats are a bit too large for their frames and it looks slightly awkward, so I’ll probably cut them down a little. I thought I might recover the seats in pale blue linen (or whatever cheap facsimile I can come up with), finished with extra large nailhead trim.

The inspiration photo is coaxing me to upholster the backs, too, but I’m not sure about how to contend with the figure-eight detailing.

The Eight ChairsI like it but it’s not exceptional. Do I cover it on one side? Both sides? Recover only the seats and let the eights speak for themselves? Rip out the eights completely?

For the time being, I have white canvas slipcovers (meant for the Ikea Henriksdal chair, but they fit so who cares?) to disguise the slub ugly fabric. Hopefully that gives me time to decide about the eights, decide about upholstering the backs, find the right upholstery fabric, paint the chairs, paint the table, learn to do upholstery, finish our bathroom remodel, have another baby or two, raise my children to adulthood, write my novel, dye my hair, learn to play the guitar and become Bunco champion before I have to actually recover the chairs.

No rush, right?


Linking up to:

Brother, can ya spare three grand?

While the War of the Tub rages over the skies of Camelot, daily life goes on with as much normalcy as we can muster. No, we have not evacuated our children to the countryside to live in the old manor house of an elderly professor. Yet.

Actually, the best I could manage to find was a rusty double-wide inhabited by Earl and Lurlene Bumpass and their sixty-four hounddogs. I think I’ll wait and see if the Axis of Whirlpool crumples before our straits become so desperate as that.

I’m still looking for a compromise. I thought I found one last week, but my dear husband is hard coming to terms with the fact that if I want a freestanding bath and he wants a whirlpool, compromise means an acrylic jetted tub. And acrylic “feels cheap” (to him). Unless it is cheap, namely the acrylic drop-in tub he wanted in the first place, which feels fine to him. Go figure.

Even so, I couldn’t resist playing with the photos of my bathroom, ala Layla, to help us envision what we’re aiming toward.

BEFORE

Possible AFTER

The colors may be a little off — I haven’t made a final decision on the wall or cabinet paint and the floor tile looks more green than it should. The scale of the subway tile, and perhaps other things, is also off a bit. But this is the general idea.

This is a compromise tub. It’s jetted, to please the Axis powers, and freestanding for the sake of the Allies. I’m not a huge fan of clawfeet, and would probably prefer white to chrome, but I was trying to meet him in the middle and this is all I could find.

The Bordeaux Tub

I could live with it, but I no love it.

And of course, as I keep looking, trying to find tubs to please us both in every possible way, I keep finding tubs I love. Pricey ones. Ouch.

Observe.

The Marlborough

This is the Marlborough by Victoria + Albert. I love this tub. It’s huge: 74 inches long. It’s made out of “rare volcanic limestone and resin.” It’s one piece of solid tub-tastic-ness. I want it.

By the way, the real Marlboroughs live here:

Blenheim Palace

I couldn’t find a picture of their tub. But I’ll bet it’s nice.

The Marlborough tub would bring a little Blenheim to my bathroom. But I have this  hangup about spending three [gasp...choke, choke] thousand dollars on a bathtub. Even if we had the money, I don’t think my constitution would allow me to hand it over for something which could functionally be replaced by a horse trough.

The only prayer I have is trolling the web until I find it at some impossible bargain. Maybe Victoria + Albert will decide to part ways and have a liquidation sale. Maybe the Marlboroughs will sue for proprietary use of their name and bankrupt the company, triggering a massive short sale of their entire inventory.

Okay, yes, I’m really grasping for straws. Chances are better I’d win the Lottery.

The Lottery. Hmmm…

A Handle on the Cabinets

My husband has been plugging away trying to determine if my dream of transforming our bathroom’s existing partial overlay cabinets into flush inset cabinets has a chance of becoming a reality. Things are looking promising, so I’ll post more specifics when the project is further along.

In the meantime, I’ve been trying to find the appropriate hardware for the cabinets. I love Restoration Hardware, of course. Among many great options, my favorite has to be the Aubrey Pull:

The style is very similar to a window sash lift and I love its clean, cottage feel. Casual but not chintzy.

Pottery Barn Kids uses a similar pull on several of their bedroom collections, although in a brushed nickle finish.

But RH wants $10 and up for each pull. I’ve looked for Aubrey Pull knock-offs, for actual window sash lifts (which they seem only to sell in the United Kingdom), for anything remotely similar — but the catch is always the money, isn’t it? Everything I found made the RH pulls look like a bargain.

Luckily, I remembered reading at Life in the Fun Lane that Holly buys most of the hardware for her amazing furniture transformations at Lee Valley Tools. Holly, all I can say is: thank you!

Lee Valley does not have a single chrome pull similar to the Aubrey. They have four.

Oh, and the most expensive one is $2.65 — and if you buy 10 or more, you get an extra discount.

I also found these charming latches, which I’m considering using in lieu of cabinet knobs:

If the latches don’t work, I can always go the route of safety:

And of course, hinges to boot.

As if I wasn’t in enough trouble, I found plenty to rival the above for my loyalty.

But I was tickled by this last one. I don’t know when, I don’t know where, but I have to use these for something:

Love those.

Anyway, I’ve ordered a sampling of all the hardware front runners and I’m anxiously awaiting their arrival so I’ll be able to stress about yet another remodeling decision for untold weeks.

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