Category Archives: Food

I’m not a foodie. I just watch them on TV.

Motherhood (Abridged)

As she pushed from her forehead a curtain of frizzy bangs — coaxed into prominence by tendrils of steam emanating from the pot of homemade tomato sauce and meatballs over which she had labored all afternoon — she heard a small voice: sweet but insistent.

“But, Mama, I want hot dogs for dinner!”

In that moment, her consciousness leapt from the fragrant and disheveled kitchen to the dinner table — not of this hour, but of many years hence. A table no longer littered with toys and crayon drawings, but host instead to a young man of whom this small boy was only the promise. Gone were the dimples, the piping voice, the disheveled curls, replaced by a man of stature, his voice resonant, but with the lingering ebullience of the boy she knew so well. Perhaps he was home from college, tarrying in the launch of his inevitably brilliant destiny for a long-anticipated reunion with his parents.

As they congregated at the table, he beamed at his mother, announcing: “I’ve been looking forward to a homemade meal for a change.” And his mother could not help but notice how he dwarfed the chair which once seemed too big for him. Where had her tiny boy gone? And so quickly?

So it was, with both a tremble and a thrill, that she set before him the evening’s repast. The plate was larger than of yore — for his appetite had grown, too — and heaped with the fruits of her admittedly truncated labors. “Dig in, sweetheart,” she said. And if his face seemed a trifle disappointed, it did not disturb the serene smile of a woman who, having enjoyed rising late, lingered over her lunch, and spent the afternoon savoring a good book, closing it just in time to prepare dinner.

“I thought about making spaghetti, but I remembered how much you always liked these,” she said. If he wanted to protest, he wisely smothered the impulse and reached for another hot dog.

With that, her mind returned to the pungent kitchen. And she smiled and was content.

The End.

Things to Do in Dallas When You’re Dead

Dead tired, that is.

Because I’m sure I will be after I make my way through (part of) this building.

This is the World Trade Center (WTC) building at Dallas Market Center. Fifteen floors of, well, everything. All wholesale goods, from all over the world, for all kinds of stores.

I get vertigo just looking at this picture. And there are three more buildings besides this one.

More about me: I grew up in a smallish town. Within a driveable radius, there was one “cool” mall, one decidedly uncool mall and a few standalone stores. There was no Target, no GAP, and no one had heard of the internet. It was entirely possible to view and consider every single option for, let’s say, a pair of ladies’ shoes available in the vicinity. In other words, you could exhaust every possibility before making a decision.

Dallas Market is the antithesis of that concept. It’s just not possible to see it all.

I only wish I’d known that the first time I went. That was two years ago. I’m older, wiser and significantly pregnant-er now. I’m aiming to take manageable bites out of Market this time. It’s no small feat for a pregnant woman to walk waddle through 5,000,000 square feet. So I won’t.

I’m planning my attack by floor. I’ll be visiting some of my current vendors to see what special deals they might be offering and scouting out new vendors or ones I remember from my last market trip.

I’ve penciled in WTC for Floors 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9 and 13. There are two floors of the Trade Market building that also made the list. I’m guessing that puts me somewhere in the neighborhood of 2.5 million square feet. I may spare a waddle for some of the other showrooms, but that’s a little doubtful. Because after I make my way through wholesale Xanadu, I have a couple of retail stops to visit.

First of all, Cost Plus World Market. Or is it Market World Plus Cost? Or World Plus Market Cost?

I can never get it right. Maybe because we don’t have one here.

Anyway, ever since Joni Webb highlighted Market Plus Cost World in her several posts on Kooboo wicker chairs, I’ve been in all a-dither to visit and see them for myself, even if I don’t buy a thing. Any store that snakes Pottery Barn by offering something just as nice for less is a must-see destination on my Reality Bus Tour.

And finally, I’m making time to stop into this cute little Swedish boutique — maybe you’ve heard of it — called IKEA.

All in all, if I make it home without needing permanent bedrest — or a second mortgage on my home — it will be rather an accomplishment, don’t you think?

Considering the ambitious nature of our shopping expeditions, I haven’t planned any sightseeing. My only other must-do in Dallas is to eat at Babe’s Chicken Dinner House. For the whole weekend, really.

I crave it. It’s a sickness. Like Homer Simpson and donuts.

But I can’t eat there for six meals in a row. That would be inconsiderate to the needs of my traveling companion. And my arteries.

So where else do we eat? Thoughts? Recommendations? Warnings of imminent diabetic shock? Please share.

On the Table

I feel somewhat guilty for reducing a holiday of the significance of Thanksgiving down to the food we plan to consume. Maybe if it were Secretaries Day, I wouldn’t feel the shame.

Still, I trust everyone to know I understand that the personal and historical importance of Thanksgiving Day dwarfs the paltry meaning of something as petty as what we eat tomorrow. Right?

Perfect. On to the food.

The beauty of having Thanksgiving two hours away from your kitchen is that the expectations for your contribution to said meal go way down.

Wait. Check that.

I don’t really know that the expectations of what I will provide go down. But my delivery of actual food meets a pretty low bar each year. Whether that’s because the expectations are really lower or only because I’ve been married long enough for my in-laws to be acquainted with the unburnished realities of Me: you be the judge.

In any event, you deserve the reckoning of my contribution to our gathering.

Pecan pie. Simmie’s Pecan Pie, to be precise. This recipe is, by my calculation, completely perfect as long as you round up that 1 1/2 cups of pecans to an even 2 cups of pecans. (Okay, with a few extra throw in. How could that hurt?)

Cranberry Orange Relish. I know there are people out there who would rather have so-called “Cranberry Sauce” that comes schlumping out of the can just like a batch of gelatinous Alpo contaminated by a vat of Red Dye #5.

But I choose not to dwell on the idiosyncrasies of the insane. Life is too short.

Listen to me carefully. Put 1 package of fresh cranberries and a seeded orange (with the peel still on) into your food processor. Pulse until minced. Stir in 3/4 cup of sugar. Then spread this on your turkey and say good-bye to the can forever.

It’ll be good for you.

Finally, because we’ll be staying at my parents house overnight, I’m bringing a couple of pans of Caramel Pecan Rolls — an incarnation of Pioneer Woman’s Caramel Apple Sticky Buns, except without apple and with loads of pecans.

These will not be good for you. Or me. At all. Except maybe for our souls.

And who couldn’t use a little caramel-and-pecan-doctoring on their soul once in a while?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ten Can Taco Soup

Ten Can Taco SoupIn order for me to be considered a “foodie,” the world would probably have to experience some kind of major food-oriented cataclysm. Maybe something on par with that stupid Stallone film in which Taco Bell is the only restaurant to “survive the franchise wars.” Whatever that means.

Anyway, until gastronomic ecstasy descends to a cuisine with “gordita” in the name, I’m perfectly comfortable with being myself in the kitchen.

This recipe is very much “me.” For one, it’s probably one of the rare recipes I would feel comfortable actually taking credit for, because it’s the result of 100% improvisation and not a riff on someone else’s version. (I’m not saying no one on earth has ever created Taco Soup before, but any similarities between actual recipes, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.) Secondly, it’s extremely easy to make, the main technical prerequisite being the ability to turn your can opener — which has “me” written all over it.

It’s also a very forgiving recipe — which is where our similarities end. Ah well. You can’t have everything.

I wish I could say I have nice, step-by-step photos to share, but that would be a lie. I’m not Pioneer Woman and also I’m a lousy photographer and also I’m lazy and also this recipe is so stinkin’ easy that people who need a photo tutorial to make it probably shouldn’t be using knives or major appliances unsupervised anyway. So if you can’t figure it out, just leave a comment. Or email me. I’ll coach you through the hard parts.


Ten Can Taco Soup

1.25 lbs. Ground Turkey
1 small Yellow Onion, diced
1 envelope Ranch Dressing Mix
1 envelope Taco Seasoning
1 can Rotel Tomatoes & Green Chilies
3 cans Stewed Tomatoes with Green Pepper & Onion
2 cans White Hominy, drained
2 cans Ranch Beans
1 can Dark Red Kidney Beans
1 can Black Beans, drained 1

In a Dutch oven, brown the ground turkey over medium heat. Add diced onion while the turkey is still slightly pink and toss until the turkey is no longer pink. Drain off the excess fat. Sprinkle the ranch dressing mix over the turkey/onion mixture and toss over low heat to coat. Repeat with the taco seasoning. Stir in all ten cans of remaining goodness and cover. Simmer for 20 minutes 2 or so, stirring occasionally. Sprinkle with a little sharp cheddar and serve with whatever side makes your leg tingle: tortilla chips, saltines, corn chips, or (my personal favorite) cornbread. Makes about 12 servings.

By the way, this soup freezes beautifully. Just seal the cooled soup in a ziploc bag and toss in the freezer. Though I would recommend not tossing it onto a wire shelf within your freezer or you may find the task of defrosting a bit more entertaining. Just a suggestion.


  1. If you’re uber-observant, you probably noticed the taco soup in the above photo does not contain black beans. My hubby has an “issue” with black beans. I like black beans — especially since they make the soup extra pretty — but I love my husband. I had to choose between the two and there’s no crying about it now.
  2. This is just a suggestion. The soup is already fully cooked, so if you’re in a rush and don’t have time for a full 20 minute simmer, serve away. But I think the simmering helps.
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